There's no lifeguard at the gene pool. But there is a new book by an Andover mom and her sister meant to help "ordinary parents of special children."
Patricia "Patty" Konjoian of Andover, who married into the Konjoian nursery family of Andover, and her sister, Gina Gallagher of Marlborough, have written a second book about what it's like to try and go swimmingly along in life as moms of kids with invisible disabilities. They write lovingly and honestly about their special needs daughters in "Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid." Konjoian's daughter is bi-polar. Gallagher's daughter has an autism spectrum disorder.
Their personal journeys are best described as a roller coaster ride every day as they never know what awaits.
"We go as the kids go. It's up and down for us," Gallagher simply said.
"Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid" is published by Three Rivers Press, part of Random House Publishing. The more than 250-page paperback book came out Tuesday, Aug. 3 and costs $15.
With today's trophy-for-everything society that is so caught up with kid perfection, these sisters set out to show parents that it's OK if your kid is not perfect. Parents with special needs kids from around the world, including New Zealand, Pakistan, India and Australia. e-mail thanking these authors for offering a Web site that shows they are not alone.
"We have a Facebook fan page and get all sorts of comments," said Konjoian. "We found that after our first book, which came out in 2007, people were really pulling for our characters."
One "character" is Konjoian's daughter, Jennifer, who is bi-polar and takes medication to stabilize the highs and lows. About to be a senior at Andover High School, she's a top field hockey player at school and a member of many clubs. She's also a member of a teen speakers group, a fully-trained Samaritans volunteer and works a job this summer.
The book details the author's "vault" approach immediately after her daughter's diagnosis was made years ago. Patty Konjoian was a vault, telling no one about the diagnosis and keeping her feelings inside. She was worried about potential fall out and the effect it might have on Jennifer. Would parents prevent their kids from playing with her?
Eventually, a therapist suggested to Kongoian that she open up. It would help break the stigma often associated with mental illnesses like being bi-polar.
Funny as well as smart, Patty Konjoian writes all about her "license to spill" which started with a letter to a mom whose son is schizophrenic and survived two suicide attempts. She hadn't written a fan letter since her teen crush on David Cassidy. She began attending support group meetings.
The book is full of resources for parents of kids with special needs. The authors call the book, "a survival guide for ordinary parents of special children." It's also peppered with funny one-liners that these sisters laugh about, like the David Cassidy reference.
"It's a tough time for parents, so we like to use humor to help," Gallagher said.
Gallagher's daughter, Katie, has Asperger's syndrome. She's a bit younger than her cousin, Jennifer, and does not attend public school. Attending a school for autistic students is a better fit for her.
Seven years separate these writing sisters who say they weren't super close growing up in Maynard. Now, they giggle about their "imperfect connection" and agree the bond between them will never be broken.
